I am a second generation American who grew up in a traditional Jewish home and was introduced to what we now call Civil Discourse at an early age. When I said something nasty about someone, I was quickly reprimanded and told that what I had said was “Evil Speech.” I have adopted this term for the derogatory, belittling, damaging speech we hear so often these days.

Very little of what I practice and promote is original to me. Actually, almost all of it came as “gifts” from people much smarter and more accomplished than me. My background includes a newspaper route, working in my junior high school cafeteria and teaching Bar Mitzvah classes. I graduated from Cleveland Heights High and Miami University with a BA in psychology and sociology. I spent 10 years with the Ohio Adult Parole Authority, and received my Master’s Degree in Social Work Administration. Soon after I got my Master’s degree, I left the parole authority and went to work in the family nursing home business. In 2005, shortly before I retired, I had the opportunity to formally test my mediation skills, as the moderator/mediator for the Maple Heights Chamber of Commerce’s Candidates Night. It worked, and I managed to keep things in order, much to everyone’s amazement.

In about 2011, I started writing a basic communication essay that is the cornerstone document of Better Outcomes. I incorporated Better Outcomes as a 501©(3) in 2013. During this time I sent an email to Rabbi Abraham Twerski, M.D. asking if he had written anything specifically about evil speech. He directed me to the Old Testament writings of the Chofetz Chaim. As he suggested, I found these writings to be the simplest, clearest guidelines I had seen about how we should speak to each other.

I was inspired to share the Chofetz Chaim’s wrotomgs with as many people as possible. I believed that by using the Internet we could spread his guidelines around the world and bring peace to what was becoming an increasing nasty and dehumizing world. As I told another friend, Doug Oplinger, “we can change the world!”

31 Old Testament Commandments

Rabbi Zelig Pliskin describes the effects of Evil Speech in his adaptation of the Chofetz Chaim’s book “Guard Your Tongue.”

“Evil Speech is the source of much hatred, disputes, and even bloodshed. The Torah and Talmud both express the gravity of Lashon Hora. The Torah (Deuteronomy 27:24, Rashi) places a curse on those who speak evil of others, while the Talmud (Erchin 15b) equates speaking Lashon Hora with atheism. Besides the inherent severity of Lashon Hora, the gravity is compounded by repetition; a person who isn’t careful with his speech will violate the prohibition thousands of times. Therefore, we definitely will not be worthy of G-d’s blessings until we cease speaking Lashon Hora.”

The 31 Commandments referenced by Rabbi Kagan, are contained in Appendix 1, with the English names of the Five Books of Moses, so you you can find them in your own Bible. (See Appendix 1)

The Present – 2020

It is now 2020 and my life, and the pandemic has gotten in the way. All of a sudden, I feel like an extremely old man, but, there is no doubt in my mind; we can change the world. However, If we are going to make the world what we want it to be; not the way we are headed, we have got to understand our selves better, apply the knowledge that is available and learn how to work cooperatively. Since I was born, we have gone from getting your mouth washed out with soap for lying, to listening to the President of the United States lie and, worse yet, give his adversaries degrading descriptive names. We even count and catalogue what he says.

I was taught, that “Evil Speech” as Jewish tradition calls it, was “evil”. We are also told that Evil Speech kills three people: the person making the comment, the person hearing the comment and the person about which the comment is made.

Ten years ago, I was directed to a book written by Rabbi Yisroel Meir Kagan (1838-1933), about how we should deal with evil speech. The name of the book, “Chofetz Chaim”, is from Psalm 34:13–15:

“Who is the man who “desires life”, who loves days to see goodness? Guard your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceitfully. Shun evil and do good, seek peace and pursue it.”

Most people speak impulsively and don’t take the time to think seriously about what they are going to say. Part of that is because our old animal brain still automatically protects from us danger and is faster than our newer, rational prefrontal cortex. The other part, I believe, is that we do not yet appreciate the power of words. The “sticks and stones adage” is still with us and it is wrong.

When I founded Better Outcomes, I saw it as an organization focused how human beings were “ideally” meant to communicate. In order, to produce something useable for as many people as possible, I have discussed involvement in the creation of a book with a young Rabbi, the assistant Imam, at a nearby mosque, who also teaches at Kent State University, and the eminent Minister for Special Projects and Project Team Leader for the Gulf Coast Justice Initiative, Justice and Witness Ministries, United Church of Christ (UCC), in Cleveland, Ohio. I hope to combine the content of their holy books, viewpoints and experience into one work that will show the public, that, we all do the same things differently. What I have put on the website so far is the kind of information that most people do not get in school, or don’t learn early enough, or is withheld for various reasons by the powers that be. I have built a model that stretches from our 8,000-year-old Creation Myth through the old testament to the role models of today’s society. I have done as much as I can by myself and without more help, all I will be able to do is watch more time pass and things get worse. The help I need is basic start up business help. If you are worried about the future too, join us volunteer or donate. Contact Us today for more information. I am sure I can find something for everyone to do.